


The Storm Inside

by timeforgotten



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Established Relationship, Happy(ish) ending, M/M, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2357840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeforgotten/pseuds/timeforgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a dark and stormy day, the weather matched his mood. He normally loved when it stormed but today life got in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Storm Inside

It was a dark and stormy day, the weather matched his mood. He normally loved when it stormed but today life got in the way.

The clock in the bedroom says its 5:23.

Sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands he wondered how he fell this far this time. It feels like there is no one left who could pick him up, this time the pieces are left shattered on the floor.  Would he be missed? Would anyone even notice he was gone? How long would it take before someone notice he was gone? No he wouldn’t do that. It would be too much of a hassle for someone to take care of. No he will go on living his life making sure that no one can see the cracks that are getting bigger. He is hoping they will go away but he knows they won’t.

He glances at the clock, 5:47. _He_ will be home soon. _He_ cannot see him like this. So he makes his way to the bathroom, slowly. His hands gripping the sides of the sink hard enough to shoot a dull pain up through his arms, how easy it would be to let it all go right here and let his mind win. No, not today too big of a mess for someone else to clean up. Splashing water on his face he look in the mirror, if _he_ ever saw him like this, ever learnt of his deepest secret would he still want him? Would he still love him? Or would _he_ think he was broken, or that there is nothing wrong with him. That everyone has a bad day. He just needs to think happy thoughts and everything will be ok. That’s the problem though isn’t it? There are no happy thoughts to think. Not when his mind wants to take over and let the darkness in. If _he_ were to learn about this and leave the cracks that he has been hiding would be sure to make their appearance known and the darkness would be sure to take over. If _he_ were to leave there would be no more days like today, there would be no more days at all.

His expression is staring back at him, it that really how he looks? His blue eyes no longer have that shine in them, the shine of life. He wonders if _he_ has noticed this. No _he_ is too busy to notice anything is wrong at home. He splashes his face with water once again, grabs the towel and dries off. Walking back into the bedroom, the clock is displaying 5:52 in bright blue numbers. He sighs; time to put a smile on his face. He hates that he has to have a false smile around _him_. _He_ used to be the only one who could put a real smile on his face. Maybe one of these days he will again. Deep breaths…in….out…in…out, and walks out of the bedroom.

The clock reads 6:01, the lock clicks open and _he_ is home. _He_ drops his keys, wallet, and phone in the bowl beside the door and walks into the kitchen. Arms warp around him slowly as if not to startle, a soft whisper in his ear “hello”, and a kiss right below. He relaxes his muscles relishing in the warmth of the familiar heat.  He turns slowly not wanting to lose the arms around him “hello” said just a quiet. A kiss light as a feather on the lips but a kiss that _he_ will know holds more than he will ever be able to say aloud. He looks into _his_ eyes he sees something and is not sure what it is. Wait. _He_ knows. _He_ knows and _he_ ’s here. But when did _he_ find out. The arms around him tighten something on his face must have given his fear away. A look, a look of understanding one he has never seen on anyone before is on _his_ face. Nothing has been said, nothing needs to be. In that moment he knows he will be ok.

He lets his head fall to _his_ shoulders and the tears he’s been holding back for so many years fall and they don’t stop. He breaths in _his_ sent and he just knows everything will be ok. It will take time nothing is fixed overnight and this feeling of lightness he is experiencing right now will not last either but he is going to relish in the fact that _he_ is right here where he needs _him_ to be.

“No more hiding” _he_ finally says once he has calmed down.

“No, no more hiding” he replies and he knows he means it because he would not be able to lose this.

****

The bedroom is nothing but shadows thanks to the clocks blue numbers that read 10:56.

As they lay in bed that night the storm still continues on outside but the one in his mind has slowed down instead of pouring rain it’s a steady rain and he is grateful for that. It seems he was never as good as he thought when it came to hiding the cracks. _He_ knew has known for a while now and said _he_ wanted to do something before it got worse. Hearing what _he_ has to say was hard; agreeing not to hide or lie was the easy part. They had both cried and that is what got him to agree to seek out help. Other than just taking to _him_ , _he_ said _he_ was not a professional and had no idea what to tell him other then _he_ would be here for him and support anything he wanted to do to make him and everything okay again.  

He rolls over mirroring the way they stood in the kitchen just hours before, places a kiss on _his_ lips and says as the thunder rolls “I love you, Merlin.”

The clock in the bedroom flashes 12:00.


End file.
